YANA and will never be again
by jamestandspock
Summary: What if the Master regenerated when he was shot after the "year that never was"? What if he stole the TARDIS again, and ended up in a strange place? How will the Time Lords will deal with a crack in time and space? Who will they find? And which adventures will they live? A tour into several Fandoms, so far: Doctor Who, Sherlock and LoTR, still planing on HP No ships, yet anyways.
1. Chapter 1

**Sooo… I have read a lot of fanfics before, so I really know that to read author notes is usually boring and unproductive, but as this is no ordinary fanfic, I really recommend you read this or you might not understand, hope you like it.**

**Background:**

Well hello there! This is a crossover that Reader and i created, it came out of a conversation we had on imessage. It all began because she sent me some images, and I was thanking her, the image in particular that started the creation of this was one were Rose and Mikey are holding the Doctor and there it says "Ain´t no party like a Time Lord party" and in reference to that image I wrote that same words, and she wrote "Because a time lord party is not bound to typical temporal parameters and thus doesn´t stop" in reference to a previous image, so in reference to that I posted: "but don´t forget the banana!" and she wrote: "nus" and actually posted a banana, and in reference to another image I said: "that's a sexy banana" and immediately I posted: "but not as sexy as my TARDIS" so she said: "Oh well" "That's a cool banana" "seductive banana?" and here it begins. So this will look as a conversation, because I wanted to keep it as it was, we had a lot of fun doing this therefore I didn't want to change it.

One last thing, before this my friend and I had already agreed that she was the Doctor and that I was the Master, and again this came out from other images, because we love to send images to each other. (Normally fanart, but we send lots of stuff, fandom stuff and random stuff, but mostly fandom)

**Chapter I **

Master: and it's actually your TARDIS I stole her.

Master: MWAHAHAHA!

Doctor: what?!

Doctor: YOU have the TARDIS?!

Doctor: How? When? Why?

Master: yup

Doctor: Where are you?

Master: how… with a master plan

When… not 5 minutes ago

And

Why…just because

Doctor: better said

Doctor: when are you?

Master: far, far away Doctor

Master: small hint…

Master: in the past

Doctor: Hahahaha very funny

Doctor: Let me guess… The year that never was?

Master: no Doctor, way before that

Master: back when the drums weren´t there

Doctor: Ooooohh

Doctor: No you don´t!

Doctor: what are you gonna do?!

Master: back when we were children

Doctor: the destruction of Gallifrey is a fixed point I time

Doctor: Don´t you dare!

Master: I, Doctor, will change everything

Doctor: you can´t!

Doctor: you don't understand

Master: try me….

Doctor: You weren´t there!

Master: oh but you were

Doctor: Yes! And for a reason

Master: and now you never will…

Doctor: what do you mean?

Master: you will cease to exist and chaos will fall in the universe

Doctor: you are going to kill me?

Master: No

Doctor: Ok…

Master: I

Am

Going

To

Make

You

Evil

Master: as me

Doctor: you can´t

Doctor: how are you going to do that?

Master: Oh, but I can

Doctor: No!

Master: I´ll kidnap the younger you

Doctor: You plan on making me as mad as you?

Doctor: because newsflash!

Doctor: I am already mad!

Master: and I´ll make you hate every inhabitant of the whole time-space-continuum so they will never have a savior.

Doctor: might as well make me a dalek

Master: no

Master: you will enjoy chaos, daleks do not feel joy

Doctor: Don´t do this

Doctor: if you do this it will be the end of the universe

Master: Oh see, there you are not even a hundred years old

Doctor: Literally

Doctor: I am also known as the destroyer of worlds

Doctor: there is a reason!

Master: and what is The Oncoming Storm going to do to stop me now?

Master: Eh, Doctor?

Doctor: *sends a telepathic message to young Theta telling him to run*

Master: Oi, come back here!

Doctor: Haha!

Doctor: :PPPPPPP

Master: *catches young Theta*

Y. Theta: *kicks him*

Y. Theta: Oi! Who are you?!

Master: Mwahaha was that your plan?

Master: you will come with me kid

Y. Theta: No!

Y. Theta: *frees himself and starts running again*

Doctor: you know…

Doctor: I was always good at running wasn´t I?

Master: You can stop all of this

Master: you know Doctor… one word and I´ll stop

Doctor: …?

Master: Say

My

Name

Doctor: Koschei

Master: that is not my name anymore

Doctor: you have many names

Doctor: how am I supposed to keep with all of them?

Master: which is the right one?

Master: One word

Doctor: I dunno

Doctor: you tell me

Doctor: say my name and I´ll say yours

Master: I have already said your name

Doctor: then you will have no trouble saying it again

Doctor: C´mon

Master: come on Doctor, can´t you figure it out?

Doctor: what?

Doctor: I don´t want tooooo

Doctor: but then again…

Doctor: you said my name…

Doctor: *sigh*

Master: just say it and I´ll stop everything,

Doctor: Fair´s fair

Master: I´ll give you back the TARDIS

Doctor: …Master

Master: *grins widely* see, was it that hard?

Doctor: yes

Master: Come on! It was fun!

Doctor: For you perhaps

Doctor: is embarrassing to me

Master: you never appreciate a good prank, do you Theta?

Doctor: Not when the prankster is you

Doctor: and certainly not when you steal my TARDIS and threaten with turning me into an evil monster

Master: Oh come on loosen up

Doctor: I can´t

Master: I really scared you did I not?

Doctor: Yes!

Master: more than a weeping angel?

Doctor: yes!

Doctor: what would have happened if you didn´t stop?

Doctor: I am a threat and you know it!

Master: I wouldn´t do anything drastic after all I am a time lord I know which things can be changed and which things cannot

Master: I would not risk my own existence

Master: …

Master: nor yours

Doctor: sorry to break it to you but you are NOT in your right mind

Master: and you are?

Doctor: Fine

Doctor: either of us

Doctor: my point exactly!

Master: but that is who we are

Doctor: that's why we must not do things like this

Master: none of us is mad enough to make the universe end

Doctor: I´m not

Doctor: are you?

Master: No, I have things I value in this universe

Doctor: really

Master: yes…

Doctor: good

Doctor: now…

Master: now?

Doctor: could you please return my TARDIS?

Doctor: I was enjoying a very good book before I was brutally interrupted

Master: oh, that, well…

Master: sorry about the book

Master: when are you?

Doctor: 250313 Cardiff you know… official Tolkien Reading Day

Doctor: what happened?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II Fangirls**

_Doctor: what happened?_

Master: I kinda…crashed…a bit…

Doctor: what?!

Doctor: when?

Master: and there are two things

Master: the one good and… Well, the bad one

Doctor: tell me

Master: the good one is

Doctor: yes?

Master: the chameleon circuit is working again

Doctor: aww :(

Doctor: well thanks I suppose

Master: yes…well

Master: the bad one

Doctor: …?

Doctor: are you hurt?

Doctor: trapped?

Master: no

Master: no

Doctor: then what?

Master: there are two girls in here

Doctor: oh

Master: Yes, they say they know us

Master: And the TARDIS

Doctor: UNIT?

Doctor: TORCHWOOD?

Master: nop

Master: they say they are called whovians

Doctor: OMG

Doctor: Fangirls!

Doctor: Master!

Doctor: Run!

Doctor: Hide!

Doctor: I´m coming for you!

Master: yes well they are a bit scary, but they are nice

Doctor: nice?!

Doctor: Really?

Master: yes

Doctor: what did you do to them?!

Master: nothing, one says she is called Dani I think

Master: she is cool

Doctor: ohhh

Doctor: nice name

Doctor: *grabs Jack´s vortex manipulator and teleports there*

Doctor: here´s the Doctor

Master: Oh hi there, meet my friends

Doctor: Oh yes!

Doctor: Hello there! I´m the Doctor

Doctor: I see you´ve met the Master

Brenda: yes

Doctor: sooooo

Brenda: he is kinda weird, but nice

Brenda: like Santa

Doctor: well…

Brenda: ohh do that again!

Doctor: Well… I´m not sure if I should… *wink*

Brenda: ohhhhh

Dani: Santa is not weird! He brings us presents!

Dani: I like presents!

Doctor: *smiles*

Master: you know he is not real, don´t ya kid?

Dani: Just like you?

Master: Oi I am real

Brenda: not here

Dani: *slaps him*

Dani: Hmm

Dani: yup

Dani: Definitely real

Doctor: whoa whoa whoa

Master: of course I´m real you ape!

Doctor: what do you mean by "not real"?

Brenda: well in this universe

Dani: you heard that Brenda?

Dani: he called you ape!

Dani:* slaps him harder*

Brenda: yeah, I know what a prat *hits him too*

Master: Oi stop it

Master: I´m sorry ok

Master: just stop hitting me

Dani: now he apologizes

Brenda: well as I was saying

Doctor: *covers the Master´s mouth*Yes please continue

Brenda: Thank you Theta.

In this universe, in this timeline, you are not real, you can´t be

Doctor: How do you know my name?

Brenda: I,…um

Master: Do you know my name too?

Doctor: Brenda?

Brenda: well…yes

Doctor: the question is…

Doctor: Master!

Doctor: where is the TARDIS?]

Master: this is beyond crazy

Doctor: Ahhh there it is!

Doctor: *walks to the mirror in the closet, opens it and enters*

Brenda: you repaired the chameleon circuit?

Doctor: Nope. I like my Police Box. As soon as this is over I´m breaking it again

Doctor: Now the question is…

How could the TARDIS land here?

*Brenda and Dani follow the Doctor inside*

Brenda: can we say it?

Dani: *gives her the Toby McGuire look*

Brenda: 1

Dani: 2

Brenda: 3

Brenda and Dani: IT´S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!

Master: wow, that´s scary

Dani: *starts laughing and high-fives her*

Brenda: not as much as the Vashta Nerada

Dani: or the weeping angels

Brenda: "Hey who turned off the lights? Hey who turned off the lights? Hey who turned off the lights?"

Doctor:*gets angry* Shut it!

Brenda: sorry, forgot what that meant to you

Master: what are you talking about?!

Doctor: *calmer* how do you know all this stuff?

Dani: Shush Master. Not now

Brenda: we know this and so much more, you are the tenth aren´t you?

Doctor: ...yes

Doctor: tenth incarnation

Brenda: then you knew Rose Tyler

Doctor: ...

Brenda: and Martha Jones

Doctor: *sadly nods* yes

Brenda: and Donna Noble

Doctor: is there a point?

Brenda: then it is really you, you do exist, but not here

Brenda: you exist in another universe

Doctor: yes, but for that to happen the TARDIS must´ve entered another universe

Doctor: something´s not right

Doctor: i used Jack´s vortex manipulator to come here

Brenda: ... of course

Brenda: the crack in the wall...

Doctor: what? Crack?

Brenda: something you would not know

Doctor: where?

Brenda: because you haven´t lived it yet

Doctor:*runs outside the TARDIS*

Brenda: you are too young...

Master: Doctor?!

Where are you going?!

Doctor: HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THAT?!

*outside in the bedroom*

Doctor: two parts of time and space that should never have touched

Brenda: you couldn´t have known, and we thinking you are not real did not think about it being a problem

Master: WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Doctor: but i should have seen it!

Doctor: why didn´t I?!

Doctor: Master!

Master: Dani can you explain this nonsense to me? Please BECAUSE I DON´T GER A SINGLE THING!

Doctor: don´t be so thick!

Doctor: there´s a crack in space and time!

Doctor: we don't exist here!

Doctor: if we don´t exist here we don´t exist anywhere!

Doctor: something´s happened in our universe

Doctor: why didn´t i see the crack? Why didn´t you see it?

*sudden realization*

Doctor: we are starting to fade

Brenda: but we are fading too!

Doctor: what?

Doctor: you don´t exist in our universe!

Brenda: this is our universe, this is not supposed to happen, why would we banish from our own universe?!

Doctor: No, this isn´t your universe either

Master: so... where are they from?

Doctor: nice question

Doctor: Of course!

All: what?

Doctor: we are from the same universe!

Doctor: think about it! You know everything about us. You know things that are yet to happen.

Dani and Brenda: what?

How?

Doctor: we do not exist here

Brenda: but have existed here all our lives

Doctor: Aaaah, but that is not entirely true is it!

Doctor: much likely this is a parallel universe

Doctor: everything is exactly like the other universe

Doctor: and when i say everything i mean almost everything

Brenda: like with Rose?

Doctor: exactly

Doctor: you guys are from our future

Master: but how did they arrive here without knowing?

Doctor: That´s what we´re here to find out

Doctor: we also got here without knowing

Doctor: Something or someone wants us off the picture

Brenda: but then how come we remember all our lives being here?

Doctor: perception filter

Brenda: hmmm, logical... but, wait... the crack

Doctor: the crack...

Brenda: *goes to Dani and whispers* it is ahead of time that´s not supposed to happen yet

Brenda: not until the end of time and the eleventh hour

Dani: I know!

Dani: the Master being here is completely wrong!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III The time lords**

**Ok, for this chapter:**

**Brenda: myself**

** The Master**

** Rassilon**

**Dani: herself**

** The Doctor**

_Dani: the Master being in here its completely wrong!_

Brenda: I know, but... what if

Dani: what if...?

Brenda: instead of Amy the crack is following us? What if we are what is wrong?

Dani: then they have messed up with the wrong girls!

Brenda: That they have!

But this changes everything, if there is no Amy and Rory...

Dani: River doesn´t exist

Brenda: Silence won´t fall...

Dani: so they won´t hurt themselves :D

Dani: sorry, no time for jokes

Brenda: no, no time for jokes, but nice one all the same

Dani: Thank you!

Master: what are you whispering over there?

Dani: Spoilers!

Brenda: Give us a moment please; we are trying to figure this out

Dani: that means shoo!

Brenda: maybe the problem is The End of Time never happened...

Dani: but... the Master is still here

Brenda:* turns to Master* Oi, Koschei, are the drums still there?

Dani: what if he tries to bring Gallifrey back?

Master: Yes, stupid never ending drums *completely annoyed*

Brenda:*muttering* we are in serious trouble

Dani: *realizing sadly* but there is nothing we can do. The End of Time must happen!

Brenda: I know, the problem is there was no us there "the first time"

Dani: Hmm true

Brenda: and the Doctor and the Master were not together

Dani: well the drums will drive the Master mad-bring-Gallifrey-back-mad

Brenda: what if... this time he did regenerate in doomsday?

Dani:?

Brenda: that is why they are together, that is why everything changed

Brenda: maybe the reason we are here,... is to fix everything

Dani: Ohhhh

Dani: but how?

Dani: do we tell them?

Brenda: How... maybe getting rid of Rassilon.

And I think we should tell Theta Sigma, but we cannot tell him everything. That could create an even bigger paradox than the one created by the crack

Dani: Ok

Dani: but wait!

Dani: The Master has his powers?

Brenda: I don´t know

Dani: we´ll see then

Brenda: we´ll see...

Dani: Doctor?

Doctor: Hm? Yes? What is it? *approaches*

Brenda: *ruffles his hair* ohhhh, i always wanted to do that

Doctor: Okay..?

Dani: Oooooh i want!

Brenda: I´m sorry, I´m so sorry, i needed to do that

Dani: *ruffles hair*

Doctor: Don´t worry, but is this what you wanted me for?

Brenda: no, just couldn´t resist

Doctor: oh, ok

Dani: you know... hair porn

Doctor: Whaaaat?

Brenda: yep

Dani: nothing

Brenda: so... to the point

Doctor: please

Brenda: we are in no small amount of trouble

Doctor: i figured, but you seem to know more of this than us

Brenda: yes...well...not really...

Dani: what we are trying to say...

Brenda: we know what could have happened

Doctor:*rises eyebrow* But...

Brenda: but you know...*stops to fangirl for a sec* time is a big ball of...

Doctor: Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey?

Brenda: stuff, yeah.

The thing is everything is wrong now

Brenda: in doomsday the master should have not regenerated

Doctor: are you saying he... dies?

Brenda: he should´ve, but he did not

Doctor: so that changed history

Brenda: yes, he changed everything

Doctor: Blimey. Everything is not good

Brenda: we think that is the reason we are here, and why we were in that universe where you did not exist, and we did not belong to, why we know your future

Doctor: so we have to kill him to fix this

Brenda: no, that won´t do it anymore everything is already changed, we can´t change it back just...

Doctor: Time can be rewritten

Brenda: wait...*looks around the TARDIS*

Doctor: what is it?

Brenda: where is Koschei?

Doctor: *looks around* Master?

Doctor: Master! *runs outside*

Doctor: KOSCHEI!

Brenda: Blast it! It´s today!

Dani: what is? Doomsday?

Dani: the End of Time?

Brenda: the End of Time

Dani: the wasteland!

Dani: that´s where he must be

Brenda: we must hurry!

*they all run to the wasteland*

Doctor: Master!

Doctor: Master where are you?

Doctor: I can feel him

Master: you cannot stop me Doctor

Doctor: Master, what happened?

Master: "what happened?" HA! I tricked you, that happened, and in a few minutes everyone on this planet will hear the drums

Master: all the humans will become me!

Doctor: No! What did you do?

*everyone around becomes the Master except from Dani and Brenda*

Doctor: i can help you!

Doctor: just stop this

Dani: we are obviously too good for you! :P

Brenda: or maybe we are not human? Could that be?

Dani: *whispers* are we not human?

Brenda: i don´t know anymore... maybe is just something with the Time Vortex

Master: Gallifrey is near...

Dani: *whispers* Aha! That´s it! Like you said we are a mistake, that´s why we are not the Master. We are not even supposed to be here

Doctor: No Master! This is a mistake

*weirdo portal opens and Rassilon and others enter*

Doctor: Rassilon

Master: What?!

Doctor: What did you do?

Rassilon: we used Koschei to bring back the time lords

Doctor: the drums... That was a signal

Rassilon: clever as always...

...Doctor

Master: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?

Doctor: well no matter because this ends here *points gun to the Master*

Master: NO, you cant you are too coward to do it

Doctor: Get out of the way

Rassilon: what are you doing?

Doctor: DO IT!

Rassilon: Are you going to kill us all again?

Doctor: Yes

*Master ducks and The Doctor shoots the white star*

Rassilon: NOOOOOO!

*portal thingy explodes*

*that cures the drums and sends the time lords and the Time War into the time lock*

Master: they are gone...

Doctor: ...

Brenda: what is...?

Doctor: I´m sorry Master

Dani: the time lords...

Master: the drums, they are gone... *does tiny victory dance*

Doctor: *smiles a little*

Dani: *whispers to Brenda* But what now? The Master was supposed to go into the time lock and the Doctor was supposed to regenerate

Brenda: I don't know...but anyway, what can we do? It is not like we can force the Doctor to regenerate

Brenda: or send the Master into a time lock

Dani: you´re right

Doctor: So... Back to the TARDIS

*all follow in*

Doctor: Say, Brenda, why don´t you and Dani come along?

Doctor: it can get lonely sometimes

Brenda: u serious?

Brenda: i mean you´ve got the Master now

Dani: I DONT CARE IF YOU AREN´T SERIOUS!

Dani: *pulls Brenda* OF COURSE!

Doctor: i know but he´s a party crasher

Doctor: ...sometimes

*Master glares*

Brenda: ahhh stop! *straightens up*

Doctor: i need someone else to make a party for him to crash in

Brenda: Well... we could be that someone

Doctor: Brilliant!

Brenda: but there is one thing we never settled...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter VI YANA

not much action here but it is a cute chapter :)

**Dani: herself**

** The Doctor**

**Brenda: myself**

** The Master**

Dani: ?

Brenda: if the Master making thingy was programmed for human DNA even if we are from another dimension, universe or thing... why we did not become the Master?

Master: Good question...

Dani: Oh for God´s sake!

Didn´t you hear the massive speech i gave you in the middle of the confrontation?

Brenda: Yes, i did, but i think that is not the answer

Dani: :|

Dani: Ok then what do you think it is?

Brenda: well i think maybe this lads over here are not the last time lords...

Doctor: What? No, we would have known

Dani: *fangirl screams* Are you serious?!

Brenda: well yes, we had our memories erased when we were left in the other dimension, did we not?

Dani: Yes...

Master: well there is an easy way to find out then, Doctor your stethoscope. *the Doctor hands him the stethoscope*

Master: *walks and stands in front of Dani*

Dani: Whoa! Watch the hands mister!

Master: yes, yes, i know.

Let´s see

*hears left side, normal heartbeat*

*hears right side...

Master: well...

Doctor: Yes?

Master: For a...

Doctor: a...?

Master: ...

Doctor: Time lord?

Master: yes time lord she has a wonderful heartbeat

Doctor: *grabs stethoscope from the Master, to Brenda* May I?

Brenda: well, yes...

Dani: Oh yes!

Doctor:*approaches and hears the left side* *du du du dum* *right side* *du du du dum*

Brenda : well…

Doctor :*smiles* Time lord !

Dani: that´s Time Lady!

Brenda: *Hugs the Doctor and then runs and hugs Dani*

Dani: Brenda! We are time lords! Yay!

Dani: This calls for a group hug!

Brenda: YESSSSS! *starts dancing and singing all around the TARDIS*

Dani: #But I would walk five hundred miles! And I would walk five hundred more! Just to be the one who´d walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door! #

*they all make a conga line*

Brenda: Oi, where are the bananas? There is no party without bananas!

*bananas, lots of bananas*

Brenda: Ok, now….

Let´s have a time lord party!

Doctor: *puts on party glasses*

Master: And then we travel? The Doctor promised to show me the universe…

Doctor: Already ahead of you

Brenda: no wonder why you are a party crasher…

Doctor:*starts pressing buttons and pulling levers*

*TARDIS dematerializes and materializes again*

Brenda: *super fangirling* She made the sound!

Doctor: of course she made the sound!

Doctor: the sound of sexiness

Brenda oooooh yiss

Dani: where are we?

Dani: or when are we?

Doctor: London! 1963! *goes outside*

Brenda: WAIT!

Doctor: Brilliant!

*comes inside again*

*approaches Chameleon Circuit, hammer in hand*

*starts destroying it*

Aha! That will do

Brenda: ok I expected that

Master: but why did you shout "wait"?

Doctor: Didn´t I tell you when we finished it I was going to wreck it again

Brenda: well…

Doctor: *pats the box* You sexy thing

Dani: what is it?

Brenda: You are the Master *points at him* and you are the Doctor *says pointing at the other time lord* what about us?

Dani: Hmm

Dani: I have to think this through

Brenda: how about…you could be The Reader, we´d call you just Reader

Dani: hmm "The Reader"

That´s nice

I like it!

Brenda: cool :)

Dani: thanks :)

What about you?

Brenda: I don´t know

Dani: you are very wise

But we can´t call you the Wiser

Brenda: Nop, we surely can´t

Doctor: Tell you what

Brenda: yes?

Doctor: its been a long day for all of us. Why don´t we rest for a bit and we´ll have our heads clear and ready to think names in the morning

Doctor: it wont be long. We are time lords so we don't need much sleep

Brenda: well taking is 3 in the morning I do agree, see ya lot in the morning

*next day or something time in the TARDIS is not really specific*

Dani: I know! What about The Writer? Or The Scientist? Or The Inventor? Or… or…

Brenda: The Writer has a nice ring

Dani: :D you tell us. After all it is your name

Brenda: I like it, The Reader, The Doctor, The Master and The Writer. We make a good team.

Dani: the crazy quartet!

Master: the last and most mad of the time lords!

Brenda: all of us travelling through the universe

Doctor: all of time and space. Everything that ever was and hasn't been. Where do you want to start?

Brenda: what about… the beginning of all

Doctor: the big bang?

Benda: well…never been there.

Master: it is just a bunch of gas and dust

Doctor: *gasps* I should push you out of the TARDIS for that!

Off we go! *pressing buttons*

000000 year!

Brenda: Doctor you were right to say the Master is a total spoil sport

Master: Oi!

Dani: why are you even a time lord if you think that space is a bunch of gas and dust?

Shame of an alien you are!

Brenda: don't mind him

Master: we are the same species

Doctor: lucky for you!

Imagine if we were all so small-minded like you!

Where would we be

Brenda: lost

Brenda:*comes near to Dani and speaks low* this is our official first time travel as time ladies

Dani: eeeee I know! And we are going to see the big bang! The beginning of all the universe!

Brenda: yissss, you know I believe even now, we will never stop fangirling

Dani: Never! It is our duty as fangirls

Brenda: oh yes!

Master: are we there yet?

Doctor: a little patience would be appreciated! We are going to the beginning of the universe after all

Brenda: yes patience Richard Parker

Master: who is Richard Parker?

Doctor: Richard Parker! The Bengal tiger! Life of Pi, Master

Brenda: real good movie in 2012

Master: ok…

Doctor: *starts reading symbols on the screen* Here we are!

As much as I would love to chat, don't you want to see what´s out there?

*opens the door*

Brenda: *runs to the door*

*at first pitch black, but then you can see a little light (like a shooting star) and then there is a BOOM (not like a big BOOM, mind you, more like a silent boom) and then a big ball of orange color starts spreading*

Master: there it is, told you it is a bunch of gas and rocks

Brenda:*pushes the Master slightly* it is beautiful…

Doctor: how can you say that? I mean look at it! The color of it! That tiny spark of light began it all! Not a single soul is here, well you know except for us but you get my point. No one to watch it. You should consider yourself lucky to be here.

Brenda: thank you Theta, thank you for bringing us here *hugs him and then sits on the edge of the door to watch the beginning of all things*

Doctor: *smiles and hugs back* you´re welcome

My pleasure always

Dani:*hugs the Doctor and whispers* thank you *then goes hugs the Master too before walking to the edge of the TARDIS with Brenda*

Brenda: do you have a camera?

Dani: *cheks in her poketses* I brought my Ipod but I also have my sister´s camera! It takes very good pictures and i´m sure she won't miss it for a while *hands it to her*

Brenda: thanks a moment like this deserves a picture

Dani: let's make a scrapbook!

Master: a what?

Brenda: a photo book, but cooler

Dani: yes! A scrapbook! Let´s take a picture of all our adventures and then we put it in a scrapbook and we decorate it!

Master: and what is the purpose of that?

Dani: to have fun and keep and share memories

Brenda: yes, we could go all over time and space and disguise and take funny pictures, so later on we can see them and laugh, and chat about old times

Doctor: well then! Let´s take our first picture!

Master: there is no way I am participating on that

Brenda: *grabs the Master by the ear and pulls him until all are in position for the photo*

Dani: Ok I´ll put it in automatic

3

2

1

Dani: say cheese! Or… Beginning of the universe!

All say: BEGINNING OF THE UNIVERSE!

*camera clicks*

Dani: *starts laughing*

Brenda:*starts laughing too and high fives each of them*

Doctor: *after high-five* time to go lads

Dani: awww :(

Brenda: well, if we must

Where to?

Doctor: don´t be sad Reader! There are still millions and millions of possibilities!

Doctor: I was thinking, given that the Master thinks this is all dust and rocks, he should choose the next destination

Master: Well thank you, we could go to the Medusa Cascade, after all you promised me

Doctor: Then let´s go

*starts same routine and the TARDIS shakes a bit*

Brenda: Oh, no…

Doctor: I remember Davros stole 27 planets and brought them here

Doctor: don´t worry she always does that

Travelling to the cascade is always a little tricky

Master: why don´t you simply admit you failed the exam to fly a TARDIS?

Doctor: I´ve managed very well, thank you

Brenda: well you actually lost the instructions in a black hole

Doctor: did I?

I don't need instructions! Revel at hearts

Brenda: *laughs*

Dani: *looking outside the window* We´re here!

*runs to open the doors*

Me: cool let´s take a look!

Doctor: I'm a little surprised you wanted to come here, Kosch. After all this IS pure gas and dust

Dani: Look at that shade of blue, Bren!

Me: WOW! This is brilliant!

Master: I know, but the memories it brings are precious to me

Doctor: That's nice.

Dani: This is where Davros took the planets after he stole them right?

Me: yes

Doctor: That's right! All of that just to make a reality bomb

Master: you never explained how you know this much about us...

Dani: Well... In our universe... I mean... The universe we were on... You, The Doctor, the TARDIS, the companions... Basically everything is a TV Show

Master: a TV show?!

Me: yes

Doctor: Cool! Is it popular?

Master: like the teletubies?

Dani: Yes, if you like

Me: yes Doctor it has this thing called fandom

Dani: And your fans are called Whovians

Me: ´cause you know everybody when they meet you ask: doctor who

Doctor: Ooooh yessss

Dani: The ultimate question

Me: the first question, the only question, the one that remains unanswered

Doctor: And will remain unanswered

Me: indeed

Doctor: Sorry, just the Doctor

Me: don't worry, we understand.

So... time for our second picture?

Dani: Yes!

•everyone poses •camera clicks•

Dani: Medusa Cascade... Check!

Me: great!

Master: I'm hungry

Me: Koschei, you are always hungry

Dani: Here! Have a tortilla!

•tosses the flat bread•

Master: *catches and gives it a weird look* what about we go to eat pizza to Pisa?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter V Pizza

**Dani: herself**

** The Doctor**

**Brenda: myself**

** The Master**

** Thanos**

Dani: Why? You have something against tortillas? Huh? Well do you?

Dani: Ha just kidding

Doctor: Great! In know the perfect place

Master: no nothing against tortillas, but I thought you'd like to know Italy in let´s say...1856?

Doctor: Ok

Doctor: Okay... •in the keyboard• 1856... Italy

•vworp vworp• •TARDIS materializes•

Me: Doctor?

Doctor: Well go on, then

Dani: Adventure is out there!

Me: Doctor?

Doctor: What? Didn't you want Italy 1856?

Me: no, that's ok...just... Can you pass your hand through your hair while you smile, please?

Doctor: Uh... I-I suppose... I guess...

•passes hand through his hair while smiling• Allons-y?

Me: Allons-y! *died on the inside of excitement*

Doctor: •smiles and goes off running. Dani behind him•

*master and writer follow*

Me: um, Doctor I am sure this is Italy, but I'm pretty sure it´s not 1856 *sees cars flying*

Doctor: What?

Doctor: It can't be

Master: when are we!?

Doctor: I wrote the exact coordinates

Doctor: Judging from the flying cars I say, 2015

Me: *sighs* the TARDIS again taking us where we need to be and not where we want to be

Me: wait, you said 2015?

Dani: But that is the excitement

Doctor: Yes

Me: it´s the avengers two premiere!

Dani: Yes! Let's go!

Master: Avengers?

Dani: Earth's mightiest heroes

Master:?

Doctor: Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow and Captain America!

Me: for short a bunch of sexy guys and a girl doing badass stuff, it is a movie Koschei

Doctor: So you want to go?

Master: why not? But while we are here I must buy another suit.

Me: let me guess... Armani

*master grins wide*

Doctor: •rolls his eyes•

Dani: Okay let´s go

Me: ohhh yes!

*in the cinema, while watching the movie Thanos's evil minions start coming through the screen, and they are no 3D effect*

Dani: Doctor!

Doctor: It´s a portal!

*Thanos comes through*

Doctor: *seals the portal with sonic screwdriver*

Everybody out!

*humans run away*

Thanos: Fear me!

Doctor: Thanos! What are you doing here?

Thanos: who are you? You are not Midgardians

Doctor: No, I´m the Doctor. These are the Master, the Reader and the Writer

Thanos. Titles don´t matter, in the end you will fear me too

Doctor: What do you want?

Thanos: the whole universe

Doctor: pffft I´ve heard that one before

Thanos: Daleks and cibermen are nothing compared to me!

Doctor: I have stopped worse, you aren´t any different

Thanos: Oh, but I am different, the power I wield is beyond you, Doctor

Doctor: Oh, and what would that be?

Thanos: I have. You.

Doctor: what?

Thanos: the Oncoming Storm, The Destroyer of worlds, the man who destroyed his own planet, and annihilated his own race

Doctor: How did…?

*Thanos shoots a weird gun, the Doctor´s eyes start to become blue and he struggles*

Doctor: Aaaaaah! Guys!

RUN!

Brenda: what have you done?!

Thanos: I would say, I have expanded his mind *makes evil grin*

Dani: Doctor!

Doctor: *weakly* …no

Master: Doctor, nooo!

Dani: Master! Don´t you have a laser screwdriver?!

Master: *searches in his pocketses* Aha! Smart one Reader *points screwdriver at Thanos´s gun*

Dani: Let him go Thanos!

*kicks some of Thanos´s minions and grabs their guns, then tosses one to Writer*

Thanos: why should I let the most powerful weapon in the universe go?

Dani: Because you´ll have to deal with us if you want him

*the Doctor continues struggling*

Thanos: Ha! And what will you do, will you fight your friend?

Dani: ´till we die *shoots him*

Master: FOR THE DOCTOR! *starts fighting minions*

Dani: *to Writer* Wow did he just say "for the Doctor"?

Brenda: So it seems…

Dani: That´s what I wanted to hear! *follows the Master*

Brenda: CHARGE!

*the chitauri start shooting at us (but as the mother f*cking badasses we are) we start dodging and firing*

Thanos:*looks at the Doctor´s now blue eyes* in the end I have won

I have my weapon

Dani: *turns to look at the Doctor* No

Doctor! Listen to me!

You are the Doctor! The Last of the Time Lords

Brenda: Doctor please!

*the Doctor starts approaching slowly*

Dani you have a TARDIS

Thanos: Kill them…

Dani: You travel and see the universe with your companions!

Master: YOU PROMISED YOU´D take me to see the universe, YOU PROMISED ME!

*the Doctor´s eyes (or color) twitch for a moment*

Master: I regenerated for you! My only friend!

Thanos: sentiment…

Dani: Doctor we don´t want to hurt you

Brenda: come back to us, I know you are good!

You are very old, very kind, but you are not alone! You have friends! You have us!

Doctor: *telepathically* ~ guys it´s me. I don't have much time… we have to stop Thanos. The screen… the screen behind us. Make him go back.~

Brenda: Master, the screwdriver!

Doctor: *with the strength he has left* ~you must punch me or kick me. Do whatever you have to do to get the sonic. Get the sonic and open the portal~

Master: Oi, Reader! *tosses something small creating a distraction*

Dani: got it!

Brenda: *runs to the Doctor*

Dani: Now Master! *fires her gun at Thanos who backs up a little*

*Writer uses distraction to take the sonic*

Dani: *fires to Thanos (like there is no tomorrow :)) and he backs up* Writer! Open the portal!

Brenda: *uses sonic* Back to your pile of rocks Thanos!

Dani: haha!

*portal sucks Thanos and minions*

Dani: Woooooo!

Well done!

Master: Ohh yes! We did it!

Doctor: *groans*

Brenda: DOCTOR!

*everyone runs to the Doctor*

*his eyes still light blue but not with the same intensity*

Brenda: Theta, talk to us!

Doctor:*quietly and a little weakly* W-writer?

Are you alright?

Brenda: yes, yes we are all alright *says almost crying*

Doctor: *smiles weakly*

Master: you scared us for a second there

Doctor: Me? Nah, I had it under control

*Reader helps him sit up*

Brenda: oh, you mad man… *sighs*

Doctor: if you don't mind I would really like to go for pizza. Can we go?

Master: of course! That´s what we came here for in the first place

Doctor: thanks. Wanna give me a hand?

Dani: Let´s get out of this place

Brenda: of course Doctor *helps him*

Doctor: Thank you. And before we go…

Brenda: yes?

Doctor: I wanted to thank you for saving me. You were very brave. *looking at the Master* All of you. I wouldn´t have made it without you.

Master: ok…, you need to stop all this cuteness, it´s really disgusting

Doctor:*laughs* Same old Master

Brenda: *slaps Koschei in the head* you are welcome Doctor, you would´ve done the same for any of us

*back in the TARDIS*

Doctor: 1856! This time for real

Brenda: you sure?

Doctor: yeah, all this evil possessing made me hungry

Brenda: then we shall go eat!

Master: yes please!

Doctor: one last thing. Master, could you take us there?

Master: yes, I guess I could

Brenda: then lead on!

Doctor: Just, don´t get us in trouble

Just this once

Master: Very well let´s go!

Doctor: *goes to captain´s chair, sits down and lets the master get to it*

Brenda: one question…

Dani: yes?

Brenda: can we go meet Sherlock after the pizza?

Dani: and John!

Brenda: Oh yiss!

Master: Who?

Doctor: I don't see why we wouldn´t

Dani: Master don´t you know anything about this world?

Makes me wonder how you became prime minister

Brenda: Sherlock Holmes the most famous detective that ever existed! And his awesome best friend Dr. john Watson the only two consultant detectives ever existed

Dani: who live in 221b Baker Street! Seriously? You don't know who they are?

Master: uh Holmes you say… you mean Mycroft´s little brother?

Dani: unbelievable! You know Mycroft and you don´t know Sherlock? Someone slap him!

Master: Mycroft worked for me in the government

Dani: WHAT?!

Dani: Oh when I see him I´m gonna *punches her hand with her fist*

Doctor: why would he do that?

Master: who do what?

Doctor: *closes his eyes* Anyway… are we there yet?

Dani: why did Mycroft work for you?

Master: he worked there before I arrived, and when I became prime minister he stayed

Dani: we need to speak to Sherlock

Brenda: yeah we do

Doctor: but first pizza…

Please

Master: we are almost there

Doctor: *starts getting grumpy* and you call me a lousy driver

Master: patience "Richard Parker"…? Have I said it right?

Doctor: patience is for wimps

*the TARDIS materializes*

Brenda: See… we have arrived

Doctor: yay

Dani: *pokes him* C´mon grumpy pants *pulls him out*

Brenda: Come on Koschei, we shall now feast!

*after a long wanted and deserved pizza*

Doctor: *much more happy* Delicious!

Dani: I agree

Doctor: thank you

Master: ahh at last

Dani: It was really good

Brenda: oh yes… a fine meal

Doctor: *runs off* time to go bake in Baker street

Master: seriously Theta Sigma…? bake in Baker street?

Dani: Aaaaaaaaand he´s gone

Brenda: Doctor wait for us!

Doctor: C´mon! the last on is a rotten po-tay-toe!

Brenda: you actually said that?

Doctor: no, Sam Gamgee said it. Po-tay-toes boil´em mash´em stick´em in a stew

Brenda: You´ve read Tolkien?

Doctor: I´ve actually been to Middle Earth. Valuable member of the fellowship

Doctor: But I´ve also been reading "Tales of a Perilous Realm" lent to me by a very dear friend

Brenda: seriously?

Doctor: yes! Had to help the poor lads to get rid of the Nasgûl. Nasty fellows

Brenda: of course you are no man…

Doctor: *bows a little* that´s a tale for another day! We have an appointment with Mr. Holmes!

Brenda: Ok, but you must take us there sometime

Doctor: Promise

NOW ONWARDS!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter VI Baking in 221b**

Oki loki for this chapter:

**Dani: herself**

** The Doctor**

**John W.**

**Owner**

**Brenda: myself**

** The Master**

** Sherlock**

** Anderson**

** Lestrade **

Brenda: Can I knock the door?

Doctor: *gets out* of course

Brenda: *knocks the door of the 221b of Baker street*

*John Watson opens the door*

John: yes?

Dani: *runs and hogs him* John!

John: what the hell?

Sherlock: John let the time lords in

Doctor: ahhh Sherlock Holmes

What have you been up to?

Sherlock: Same old boring stuff.

Doctor, I was not expecting you, have you come to take me away from the boredom again?

Doctor: Declare yourself un-bored! For boredom is never my companion! We just dropped to say hello!

"Hello"

Although we have some questions that we would like answered

John: *with Dani still hugging him* Would you like some tea? Coffee maybe?

Master: tea is alright

Sherlock: will you introduce your friends to us, Doctor?

Doctor: Oh sorry, how rude of me. This *points to writer* is the Writer, or Brenda, that one over there * points to John´s leg* is the Reader or Dani

Sherlock: and the Master

John:*goes to the kitchen*

Doctor: and the Master

*gives him an apologizing look*

Master: Yes, now I remember you, I saw you once with Mycroft

John: *pokes his head out of the kitchen* sorry to interrupt. Master? Chamomile, English Breakfast, Black…?

Master: Black is good thank you

John: Ok

Sherlock: back when you were "Harold Saxon", never believed in such a bad façade

Master: oi!

John: *comes back with the kettle and six cups*

Brenda: It was probably obvious to you Mr. Holmes, but the rest of the world believed it

John: Wait. Harold Saxon? The Prime Minister? He´s an alien?

Sherlock: yes John he is

John: okaaaay

Dani: did Mycroft knew anything about your true identity Master?

Master: I do not know, he never said anything

Dani: did he told you Sherlock?

Doctor: *starts pouring himself a cup of tea*

John: *takes a cup to the master*

Sherlock: I usually evade him, but it is obvious he was ignorant about it.

Dani: oh

Master: *takes cup* thank you

John: sure

Doctor: well it's a beautiful day outside! We won´t want to waste it.

MRS. HUDSON WE ARE GOING OUT!

Mrs. Hudson: TAKE CARE

Sherlock: WILL DO

Doctor: BYE!

*all outside*

*Sherlock´s phone buzzes*

Sherlock: *sees number and picks up* Lestrade, where is the body?

Dani: Oooooh a case!

Brenda: yiss!

John: what´s happened?

Sherlock: *visibly exited* John we´ve got a case, a woman was killed, not far from here

Brenda. Can we come?

Sherlock: just don't get in my way

Doctor: then what are we waiting for?

Master: we can do that

Dani: sooo… where is it?

Doctor: Lead on!

*Sherlock starts walking down the street*

Doctor: *takes out a weird looking gadget that provokes weird looks from others*

What? It´s my Crimey Wimey Detector. It goes "dong" when there is stuff!

Brenda: Oh this is exiting!

Dani: Tell me about it!

John: is Lestrade coming?

Sherlock: he is already there John, pay attention

Dani: do you have more information? Or are they gonna fill us in when we get there?

Sherlock: if you want to hear what Lestrade has to say you are welcome

Dani: when we get there then

Brenda: he is just as arrogant as I had imagined.

Dani: I know

:P

Doctor: this is taking foreveeeeer! How far is this?

Sherlock: just around the corner

Doctor: thank Rassilon

*in the crime scene*

Dani: What happened?

Doctor: *Starts inspecting the body*

Sherlock: a woman in her late thirties, married, had two sons, she drowned, but there is not enough water around, and she was not dragged, she died here

Brenda: Fantastic

Master: how is it he knows all that?

John: amazing isn´t it? And I´ve been living with him for 3 years now

Sherlock: three years, two months and fourteen days

John: you know exactly how long we´ve been living together?

Sherlock: of course I do

John: *blushes*

Brenda: Doctor?

Doctor:?

Brenda: Didn´t a man died this same way while you went with Martha to meet Shakespeare?

Doctor: *thinks a little* Yes! But those were Carrionite… What would they want with this woman? Oi! Anderson, do we have an ID?

Anderson: yes, here *hands him the ID*

Doctor: *reads* Rosie Williams. 37. Works… worked at Rules restaurant.

Brenda: does that mean anything?

Doctor: No she was just a waitress.

Only makes it more confusing and interesting.

John: but what would they want anything to do with a waitress?

Sherlock: ahhh, nothing like a confusing case to rise my spirit

Brenda: well as a waitress she must have known a lot of names, maybe she named a Carrionite

Master: are you suggesting they killed her in revenge?

Dani: we need more information

Doctor: I don´t think so.

More likely they killed her for her energy. Wouldn´t be surprised if they took her form.

Lestrade: Sherlock, who are this people?

Sherlock: They are with me

Doctor: Nice to meet you. I´m the Doctor *shakes his hand*

Master, Writer, and Reader *says pointing at each of them*

Lestrade: Doctor who?

Doctor: just the Doctor

Dani: nice to meet you

Lestrade: *eyeing them weirdly* very well just don´t contaminate the scene

Doctor: Now! We are looking for Mrs. Williams who isn´t Mrs. Williams but is Mrs. Williams

Brenda: Williams…that was Rory´s last name…

Doctor: Who?

Brenda: Amy´s husband, oh of course you don´t know them yet!

Doctor: SPOILERS! *runs away a little*

Sherlock: You are not from the same timeline

Dani: Doctor! Come back Here!

Brenda: it is actually more complicated than that

*Doctor comes back*

Sherlock: then you shall tell me later, now we´ve got a case

John: so basically we are looking for… this woman? This DEAD woman?

Doctor: Exactly John. You catch up quick *pats him on the head*

Ok, this woman is/was just a waitress. Obviously much more than that otherwise they wouldn´t have killed her.

If they were Carrionite then no doubt they will attempt something like in the Globe

Sherlock: the theatre, how boring

Doctor: oi!

Dani: so what then? Does that mean you don't want to solve the case?

Sherlock: what I was saying is that I do not enjoy plays, not that the case is boring

Dani: oh. yay! I guess

Brenda: you shouldn´t be so rude Mr. Holmes

Lestrade: You said the Globe?

Doctor: yes. Three aliens. Their species named Carrionite also known as witches used the Globe to bring back their species from the Darkness

Lestrade: they have made an exact replica for Shakespeare´s anniversary in a town a few miles away from here

Sherlock: this woman was an actress

Doctor: yeah?

Master: how did you know that, eh Sherlock?

Sherlock: for God´s sake look at her makeup! It is too exaggerated, only old women and actresses use that amount of makeup, and you can clearly see she was not old

Dani: *getting a closer look*

Hmm… You´re right

Sherlock: Th-thank you

Dani: O.o

You are welcome :)

John: thank you *gets off the phone* they are having performances every night

Master: then…

Brenda: To the Globe!

Doctor:*starts walking*

Dani: shouldn´t it be better to tale a car?

Brenda: or the TARDIS?

Doctor: TADIS waaaaay faster. C´mon. *takes out key and unlocks door*

*all follow in*

John: What? No! this is a phone box! How are we going to fit?

Dani: just get in

*John enters*

John:…

It´s bigger…

Master: on the inside, yes! Now come on!

John: jeez… fine

Doctor: *starts typing coordinates* don't get too comfortable it´ll be a short trip

*TARDIS materializes*

Sherlock: have we arrived?

Doctor: yup

*everyone gets out*

Brenda: there it is *says pointing at the Globe*

Doctor: an exact replica

Doctor: we have to hurry

**MWAHAHAHA! CLIFFHANGER XD**


	7. Sorry NOT a Chapter

Sorry, not a chapter, only the disclaimer I had forgotten to post

We don´t own anything written in here but the plot and the OC

we make no profit of any of this

this story is written only for fun and entertainment

Next chapter will be posted soon how soon I don´t know, but be sure this story is NOT abandoned, Reader an I will continue this and it will continue being posted. Do not fear. :)

review please, we want to know what you people think about this.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter VII Not Shakespeare**

**Dani: herself**

** The Doctor**

**John W.**

**Owner**

**Brenda: myself**

** The Master**

** Sherlock**

**Both: Lilith**

** Mrs. Hudson**

_Doctor: We have to hurry_

*red kinda smoky stuff with lightning starts coming out of the theatre*

Dani: Uh-oh we are late!

John: not necessarily

Doctor: Hurry!

*all run into the globe*

*in the main stage*

Doctor: ahhh Rosie Williams, or should I say Lilith

Lilith: Doctor

Doctor: It´s been a while

Sherlock: witches

John: Uh-huh

Doctor: Stop this right now!

Lilith: NO!

Doctor: Ok if you won´t stop it then I will

Lilith: I will bring back my mothers and the rest of my sisters back

Doctor: you can´t. You need powerful words to do that. Love´s Labour´s Won is lost.

Doctor:*whispers to Reader and Writer* and we got plenty of spells don´t we *winks*

Brenda: OH YEAH!

Lilith: Love´s Labour´s Won aren´t the onely words of power.

There are others

Master: Like what?

Lilith:*smiles*

You shall try to rid of us,

But thee are to be deceived,

For we SHALL REBORN!

*thunder crashes louder*

Doctor: Oh

Doctor: thou shall be stopped!

Thou shall be forgot!

And return to the fiery chasm from whence you came!

Doctor:*shrugs* And I say to thee….

Brenda: Alaquestiqueveliquinate!

Doctor: ALAQUESTIQUEVELIQUINATE!

GOOD OLD MASTER!

Master: OH, YEAH, THAT´S MY WORD!

Sherlock: has that word any meaning?

*lightning intensifies and pink-reddish cloud grows bigger onely to suck everything (including Lilith)*

Lilith: NOOOOO! What have you done?!

Doctor: hold on to something!

Dani:*answering Sherlock* I don´t know! It´s the Master´s word

Brenda: is this the moment for that?!

Dani: what?! He´s the one who asked!

*everything starts getting sucked by the cloud and it finally ends*

Doctor: whew that was close

Sherlock: indeed

Owner: What happened here?! *sees everyone in the stage* you! You did this!

Owner: OUT! Out all of you!

Brenda: Run!

Dani: yes probably for the best

Master: into the TARDIS!

*everyone starts running*

*inside the TARDIS*

*the Doctor starts laughing*  
*all join except John who doesn´t understand what´s happening*

John: What´s the matter with you?! Why are you laughing? We destroyed the Globe!

Sherlock: John we just saved the world from bad aliens

John: Yes! But… look what we did to the Globe! I am sure we are banned

Doctor: no problem. The Globe won´t be there anymore

I´ll make sure of that

The Carrionites could come back. So we´ll make it harder for them. Tear down the Globe, make a community garden

Master: how are you going to do that?

Doctor:*takes out psychic paper*

Sherlock: that paper is blank

Doctor: yes but not for them

Dani: smart

Sherlock: normal people believe that?

Doctor: it shows them what I want them to see

Sherlock: ridiculous

Doctor: ridiculously efficient

Sherlock: if you say so

Doctor: *smiles*

Master: So…shall we?

Doctor: We shall

To bake on Baker street!

Master:*sighs and rolls eyes at the Doctor*

Doctor: :D

*back at Baker Street*

Doctor: MRS. HUDSON! WE ARE BACK!

Sherlock: that was my line ¬.¬

Brenda: seriously Sherlock?

Doctor: really?

John: I must update my blog!

Sherlock: *looks away and goes upstairs*

*everyone follows*

Dani: I don´t know about you but I could really use a cup of tea. Anyone wants one?

Master: I could do with one

Brenda: I´ll help you

Dani: thank you

Sherlock: tea would be most pleasing *goes for violin and starts playing softly*

Doctor: OOOOH ME ME ME I WANT TEA!

John: could I have some?

Brenda: be calmed Doctor, and yes John of course you can

Doctor: sorry

John: thank you

*Dani and Brenda go into the kitchen*

Brenda: *fangirling…again* He is playing the violin!

Dani: *fangirls with her* And its beautiful! *melts* and John is blogging!

Brenda: yisss, and did you notice the face on the wall?!

Dani: Ohhh no! I didn´t. I must go back! *goes to the living room and then returns* OMG!

Brenda: And the skull is there too!

Dani: Oooooooh! This is awesome! *starts boiling the water*

Brenda: Ohh yiss!

Master: *gets his head in the kitchen* what are you two babbling about?

Dani: Master! Why are you always spying? Come and help us make the tea!

Master: *sighs and starts to help with the cups* you are not going to tell me are you?

Dani: well if you really want to know we were fangirling over John and Sherlock. But that´s girl stuff.

Unless you fanboy or something

Master: fangirling? What does that mean?

Dani: it means you get excited over something or someone who you are obsessed with and you scream and screech like a Nasgûl :)

Master: Ok… what is a Nasgûl?

Dani: you never read Tolkien or watched TLotR?

Master: that does not exist, at least not this our universe

Dani: WHAT?! No hobbits? :(

Brenda: oh, of course the Doctor had said he had been to Middle Earth

Dani: Now that makes me sad

Brenda: meaning, it is real there are no books

Dani: but those are good books and movies

Brenda: but that means there are real hobbits, means that Bilbo, and Merry and Pipin, they do exist, we could meet them!

Dani:*lights up* Really?! Yay!

Brenda: the Doctor promised he would take us to Middle Earth

Dani: yes! He did! *starts dancing*

*Writer dances with her*

Doctor:*from the other room* IS TEA EVER COMING? I WONDER SOOO *indirect*

Dani:*rolls her eyes*

Master: GOING!

Dani: let´s take the three types of tea so that everyone can have what they like

Brenda: OK *takes the tea box*

John: yeah sorry about that. We would have more, but someone…*looks at Sherlock* keeps using them for his experiments

Sherlock: that was one time John, and it was essential for my testing

*Sherlock stops playing and takes a cup and a bag of black tea*

John:*no hiding the sarcasm* Of course

Doctor: TEA! YAY! Tea saves my life once. Literally.

Brenda: yes, when you had just regenerated

Doctor:*grabs a cup and Chamomile* *sips his tea* Yup.

Mrs. Hudson:*enters with a tray full of cookies* heard you talking about having tea, Sherlock dear, so I brought you some cookies I made

Sherlock: thank you Mrs. Hudson

Mrs. Hudson: your friend over there*signals the Doctor* isn´t very quiet or discrete


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter VIII: Guess who is coming to tea.**

_Mrs. Hudson:*enters with a tray full of cookies* heard you talking about having tea, Sherlock dear, so I brought you some cookies I made_

_Sherlock: thank you Mrs. Hudson_

_Mrs. Hudson: your friend over there*signals the Doctor* isn´t very quiet or discrete_

Dani: Thank you! I´m sure they are delicious

Master: *takes one and starts munching*

Doctor: One can never be too quiet when tea is involved

Master: they are actually pretty good

Dani: Wooow and coming from the Master that´s saying something

Brenda: *to the Doctor* but perhaps you could control yourself a bit more, it´s not like you are a kid

Mrs. Hudson: *about the cookies* Oh, thank you dear

Doctor: what´s the point of being a grown up if you can´t be childish sometimes?

Brenda: that was not my point and you know it

John: please Mrs. Hudson, have a seat.

Doctor: :P

*as she seats there is a knocking on the door*

John: I´ll get it *opens the door*

*Mycroft enters*

*silence*

…

…

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, Mycroft dear! What a pleasant surprise!

Sherlock: what are you doing here? *says coldly*

Mycroft: What? Can´t a brother come and say hello?

Sherlock: you never come just to say hello

Mycroft: Yes. You are right. I was informed of some…activity…coming from the globe. You wouldn´t have anything to do with that, would you?

Sherlock: and what if I did?

Mycroft: then you would be pressed with federal charges for destruction of the crown´s property

Master: Really? That´s absurd! We just saved the world from a bunch of witches!

Mycroft: *looks at him* And who would you be?

Master: Me?

Mycroft: Well yes. Who else?

*Master stands up and uses pose of "b*tch please I am in my Armani suit"*

Mycroft: *rises his eyebrow and leans in his umbrella in a "b*tch please I have a fabulous umbrella" pose*

Brenda: master, *stands and whispers in the Master´s ear* he wont remember he knew you the year that never was

Doctor: *whispers in his other ear* She´s right Master. Everyone´s memories were erased except for you, Jack, Martha, her family and me.

Master: then how come Sherlock remembers?

Doctor: Sherlock has an exceptional mind. You saw he wasn´t fooled by the psychic paper. He obviously saw through your plan

Master: very well *extends hand to Mycroft* I´m Harold Saxon

Mycroft: *shakes his hand* Mycroft Holmes

Doctor: John Smith

Master: a pleasure to make your acquaintance

Mycroft: yes. And what were you saying about the lobe Mr. Saxon?

Master: I said we saved the planet from witches

Mycroft: witches?

Brenda: more like aliens trying to take over the world, Carrionites to be precise

Mycroft: Do you think I am stupid? I wasn´t born yesterday Mr. Saxon. Everyone knows witches don´t exist. *eyeing all of them* Maybe in some ill mind

*another knock in the door*

John: *opens the door*

*Queen Elizabeth (Liz II) enters*

Doctor: Whaaat?

Liz II: Doctor

*all stand up*

*Sherlock is not amused*

Doctor: *straightens* *clears his throat* *bows slightly*

Liz II: Mycroft

Mycroft: Your majesty *bows*

Liz II: you should start believing in aliens, you are surrounded by them

Mycroft:*speechless* B-but your majesty…

Sherlock: oh, Mycroft please, it is obvious, are you that hardheaded? *says a bit annoyed*

Mycroft: *falls silent*

Liz II: Doctor, what did you do with my theatre now?

Doctor: Ahhh we were tracking a Carrionite. Sure you have heard of a similar incident back in 1599

Mycroft: did he say "1599"?

John: *shushes him*

Liz II:, it is the second Globe you destroy, the first time though you were with Shakespeare, my predecessor asked for your head

Doctor: well by now you should stop building them

Master: Your head?!

Doctor: Yes, my head, try to keep up Master

Liz II: I believe we should, even if it´s just from preventing you from destroying them

Doctor: thank you. Why don´t you build a community garden, eh? Much more safe

Liz II: *looks not amused at the Doctor* Well there won´t be charges against John or Sherlock, you instead Doctor will have one more in your extensive list of faults against the Empire *with that she turns and leaves*

Brenda: wow charming woman she is

Mycroft: *still shocked*

Doctor: I think that went pretty well

Master: Well you are not in prison or beheaded, so… yes it went well

Sherlock: *looks at Mycroft and says bitterly* sit before you fall

Mycroft: *walks and almost falls on the way to the couch, but gets there and sits* So… you! *points at the Doctor, and he waves* and…and you! *points at the master*

Doctor: yes, and also them *points to Reader and Writer*

Sherlock: *sighs* yes they are all aliens, even though they look human

Doctor: you look Time Lord. We came first.

John: Well, I´m glad we weren´t arrested

Mrs. Hudson: oh, Sherlock, you and your weird things, I´m going downstairs now, call me if you need anything *says kindly and leaves shaking her head*

Dani: Bye Mrs. Hudson! Thanks for the cookies!

Sherlock: Well, maybe Doctor, but you are in our planet right now

Doctor: yeah? So what?

Sherlock: is it not obvious, there are more of us, and I am just trying to explain to my brother

Doctor: *grumps quietly* primitive minds

Dani: What was that?

Doctor: nothing

Brenda: you should relax both, and Mycroft, we are not going to eat you, after all humans don´t taste that good, so breathe

Mycroft: thaaaanks *with sarcasm* that´s reassuring

Dani: have a cup of tea. It´ll make you feel better

Doctor: or a piece of chocolate

Brenda: that makes Vulcans drunk, you know? And makes you feel better against a dementor´s attack

Sherlock: I really liked those books, really creative of JK

Dani: What? Chocolate? Poor guys. Chocolate is delicious!

Brenda: actually it´s quite funny

Dani: hahahahaha, imagine Spock: "Ain´t nobody tells me what to do brah"

Brenda: hahaha yes would be pretty fun

Mycroft:*a little more recovered* I-I think I´ll be off now

Master: A pleasure meeting you

Doctor: same here *extends his hand to shake Myctoft´s*

Mycroft: *looks unsure at the Doctor´s hand*

Doctor: Aww come on, I won´t bite you! *shakes it*

Sherlock: don´t come back any time soon

John: I´ll show you to the door *leads Mycroft to the door*

Mycroft: *takes one last look at the living room were the Doctor waves before John shuts the door in his face*

Brenda: you were both really mean to Mycroft. He deserves it tho.

Sherlock: indeed he does

Doctor: he was just doing his duty

Master: he was never a person you would like to be with

Dani: (8) just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down (8)

Brenda: oh, oh I like that song

Dani: is a very good song

Sherlock: enough talking about my brother. How long will you be staying this time?

Doctor: I don´t know, what do you think?

Master: I don´t know, if you want us to leave…

Sherlock: Of course not! Being surrounded by smart people once in a while is quite a nice experience!

Dani: That´s very nice of you! Thank you!

Brenda: Sherlock Holmes just said we are smart… *shocked*

John: are you saying I´m not smart enough?

Sherlock: I did not say that at all, you are smart, otherwise I would not be living with you at all, I would never live with someone stupid, let alone drag them to work with me

John: Uhhh …ok thanks, I guess

Sherlock: you are welcome

Doctor: *lights the chimney with his sonic*

Dani: Now what? Its getting late

Master: we should go to the TARDIS, we could be back tomorrow, if you'd like *says to John and Sherlock*

John: Yeah. Sounds good

Sherlock: it would be a pleasure

Doctor: Ok, come on girls

*the next day*

Doctor: *gets out of the TARDIS, which is parked on the living room* Hello Sherlock! How did you sleep?

Sherlock: what is this *gestures at the TARDIS* doing in my living room?

Doctor: *looking offended* This? "This"?! "This" as you called her, is no other than the last TARDIS of its kind! What is your living room doing here, if you ask me!

Dani: *getting out of the TARDIS* gosh, what´s wrong with you people? It´s nine o´clock in the morning! Why do you hate sleep? Stop shouting!

Brenda: *still yawning* hush everyone, just shut up until I´ve had a cup of nice and sweet coffee

Dani: Coffee! 3 I´m coming with you!

John: everything is in the second cabinet to the right

Dani: thanks

Sherlock: Mind making tea?

Dani: only if you hush

Sherlock: *goes pick violin and starts playing something soft and refreshing*

Dani: Thank you that´s better *Follows Writer to the kitchen*

Master: so, what shall we do today? Yesterday I heard the girls talking about hobbits and stuff, they said you promised to take them to this Middle Earth place.

**Brenda: Myself, The Master, Sherlock, Liz II**

**Dani: Herself, The Doctor, John W., Mycroft**

**Both: Mrs. Hudson**

**And this is just an announcement to all of those who are following this story I will not post the next chapter (Let´s hunt the necromancer) until i get at least 3 reviews.**


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